April 14th , 2009 @ 2:00 AM PST

"Balenciaga of my dreams-Nick+Ouija Board = LOVE "

Fantasy/Reality part 51 is still stuck at 2,500 words. I want to finish writing it by the end of this week... we'll see how I feel. I was actually stunned when I saw my comment total for part 50 is now 8! I thought the comments would stop at 6 but it lifted my spirits to see more comments there :-D

I was browsing a website called Let-Trade which sells authentic designer bags both old and new. I saw pictures of this Balenciaga bag and instantly fell in love. I think it's a great color and size. Price is $1,499.99. Too bad I don't have money in my bag fund. Anyone want to make a donation? lol

I was lurking around on Twitter when I went to Kelly's Twitter profile. I literally gasped when I saw her background. Nick is wearing a shirt with a Ouija Board on it. It reminded me of started a story I started in 2006 about Nick and a Ouija board. I haven't updated it since but I think seeing this picture is a reminder to revive it. In a screen writing class I took in Spring 2007, I used a scene from this story for an assignment. One classmate read Nick's part and the other read the girl's part. I was stunned at the positive reception of my scene. The girl who read the part said she liked the scene because she could relate to what was happening. Also, my other classmates thought the scene was funny in general and they laughed because of what I had Nick ask the girl. It's a nice feeling to actually hear laughter being generated from my writing.

I saw pictures of Sophia Bush leaving Chanel and thought she looked absolutely fabulous. Too bad Chad Michael Murray cheated on her with Paris. She's 10x hotter than Paris.

I wish I knew what was inside her shopping bag!

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April - As the saying goes age ain't nothing but a number. I like it when Nick controls his voice. I love how he sounds in "Unmistakable." If done right he could sound great with the high notes. I'm honestly not a fan of Howie's voice anyway. Nick used to be so nasal in the early days. It makes me laugh to hear him sing songs from their first ever album. I'm glad his voice kicked in at 18. I remember when I first heard the Jonas Brother's sing and thought how are they so popular with their nasal voices. Joe Jonas isn't so bad but Nick Jonas is a bit painful to listen to. Hope you had a happy easter with your family. Hello Kitty is part of my childhood and I wanted to put up a cute easter themed picture and found that Hello Kitty picture on google. I'm so keychain obsessed. I dont' even use them but I love knowing I have them.

Jocelyn

April 12th , 2009 @ 2:50 AM PST

"Happy Easter! - My Coach Keyfob Collection - I'm obsessed with free crap from Victoria's Secret plus bra boobie talk "

 

Happy Easter everyone! I have no idea what I'm going to do today. I wish I had plans.

Early Saturday morning I passed 2,500 words with Fantasy/Reality part 51. I want to add 1 or 2 more scenes. We'll see. From the comments I've read that a majority of you enjoy the longer updates. Also, when I write, lately I ask myself will this satisfy the reader for now yet keep them coming back for more?

If you've been following me on Twitter, I posted that I got 3 new Coach keyfobs this weekend. I had my eyes on the "angry bee" keyfob but the store was sold out! Ugh! This is my 2nd time trying to find the "angry bee" and no luck!

I did find the 2 other keyfobs I wanted which were the koi fish and dog. Plus I got a flowers keyfob too. I took a picture of my collection so far. The new additions are at the bottom.

I'm obsessed with deals and if you love lip gloss this will be great for you. Victoria's Secret has a coupon where you can get a free Beauty Rush lip gloss valued at $7.50 with any purchase. I've read online that some ladies buy a PINK lollipop for either $1.50 or $2.00 and they score the free lip gloss. My mom bought some panties at Victoria's Secret and she was able to get me a free lip gloss with the coupon. I got "juiced berry." I really wanted "red delicious" but they were sold out.

I also have two $10.00 giftcards for Victoria's Secret and I really want to get a new bra. I tried on some 36 C bra's and they didn't fit. I was too shy to ask the sales associates to measure my boobs so I decided to do it at home. It gave me such a headache trying to measure my boobs. After doing the measurements and math according to the Victoria's Secret website I think I'm either a 38 A or 38 B. The whole sizing of bra's partially makes sense to me now. I've been wearing a 36 C bra since high school but the band has been hurting lately.

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April - Nick channels Bryan Adams well but I think he has overdone it in the past. In some songs on the Never Gone album Nick went too raspy for my taste. I did notice on the Unbreakable album he controlled his Bryan Adams tendencies. Paul dated her since she was 16? I'm surprised the cops didn't get him for statutory rape. It's a bit weird but then again I was 13 when I started liking NIck and he was 19 at the time.

Steph W. - It is sad but it's part of the territory of dating Nick. All of Nick's gfs have gone through some sort of bashing and insults from the public. The tweet about Nick in the tub gave everyone dirty thoughts lol

Jessica - Nick is such a tease posting that tweet about taking a bath. How weird that Fantasy/Reality part 50 involved Nick taking a bath and now he announces to the world he's taking a bath. It just freaks me out sometimes when I write or think about something he'll talk about. Like when he was on Ellen and talked about playing video games and being human and I just wrote about that in my stories. Thanks for letting me know you got my e-mail. Don't feel rushed to respond! Take your time.

Melissa - Thanks for sharing that video of Aaron. I had no idea he was still making appearances at places. I don't know the name of the song he was singing. It's probably something new he's working on. I wonder if he'll ever release an album. I can't help think about what Nick said on House of Carter's about Aaron being lazy. Aaron looks pretty healthy in the video. He doesn't look as skinny like before. When he says turn it up, I think he means he wants the volume of the song and music to be raised.

Jocelyn

April 7th , 2009 @ 1:00 AM PST

"Nick finally Twittered on his own"

For those following Nick on Twitter he started posting tweets on Monday. He mentioned getting a haircut on Wilshire. It's a bit freaky because early Monday morning before I went to sleep I spent a some time writing Fantasy/Reality part 51. In it, I wrote Nick spending some time on Wilshire Blvd.

Here's the sentence I wrote in Fantasy/Reality part 51.

"Next he drove down to Wilshire Blvd."

I mentioned this on livedaily and someone said I share a brain with Nick lol

For those who don't know, I have joined the Twitter bandwagon. Follow me here:

http://www.twitter.com/berrydelicious/

I'm in the process of switching servers and hosts for the site. I'm fed up with the $12.95 per month charge from yahoo geocities so I'm moving it to Dreamhost. They charged $9.24 for one year! That's a big savings for an unemployed chick like me :-) So if the site disappears, acts funky, or there's some broken links please tell me and just be patient as I am transferring files from one server to the other.

I just want to add I love Taylor Swift's music video for "Love Story." Sometimes I wonder about the whole past life concept that is shown in the video.

I'm also beginning to like Donnie Klang. I didn't really know about him until I saw him open for Backstreet. We even had major eye contact while he sang one of his songs. Whewwww lol I like his song "Take You There."

Steph W. - At least we'll still get to see his juicy ass in pictures and videos from the past. It sucks my picture got ripped but I learned my lesson again.

April - I wouldn't be surprised either if it's the same chick too. But at least I know it's someone who comes here because I never posted it anywhere else. I didn't even think the picture was worthy of being taken. Oh well. What's done is done. I just hate having to put obnoxious tags on pictures sometimes but there are just so many people out there who take things without askinng. I'm crazy for Sprinkles. I wish the brown sugar praline cupcakes weren't only limited to the Easter week! They're the best I've tasted. Nick singing "Right Here Waiting" is so pretty but I love him singing "Everything I Do" by Bryan Adams even more. *sigh* That's kinda ew Paul hooked up with a girl at 16 and he was already in his 30's. Some men just have a fascination with younger women.

Jocelyn

April 5th , 2009 @ 10:30 PM PST

"This is why I don't share my personal pictures of Backstreet - The Most *Delicious* cupcake I've ever had in my life"

I was looking through the "Post your favorite pictures of Nick" thread on livedaily and was appalled when I saw a picture I posted only here on Flirting With Obscene. It was a picture I took during the Unbreakable concert in Seattle. I know it has to be one of you who read my site because I NEVER posted that picture anywhere else. It pisses me off that someone took my picture, cut out the "Flirting With Obscene" portion of the banner and put a really shitty border around it. There are times I want to share my pictures but I really hate it when people spread pictures around without credit and take out the tags. On the bright side at least I own the original version of this picture but still I hate that someone had the audacity to rip my crap again.

This is the picture I'm talking about. That is the most hideous border I've ever seen. Thanks to this person I don't think I'll ever post my concert pictures without a million tags over Nick's face online again.

Knowing my luck it's probably the same bitch who ripped off my story that stole this picture.

Anywayz... I watched "Love Takes Wing" last night on the Hallmark Channel. Kevin played a hotel clerk named Cyrus. The movie was okay. I thought the ending was very rushed and cheesy but then again it's a Hallmark movie.

I also did a little writing of part 51 for Fantasy/Reality yay!

For Easter, Sprinkles has a special brown sugar praline cupcake. I went to get some today and when I tasted it, it was soooo good. I love praline and when it's put on a cupcake it's 10x better.

April - Nick sings "Heaven" so beautiful. I love the way he sounds. That's great you got youtube to work on your laptop. I didn't know Paul Walker was dating a young chick lol

Steph W. - That's cool your story about Nick got published in the school paper. May Nick's ass RIP.

Dawn - It's not fair that cancelled TV shows aren't given a proper ending. My posters definitely keep me company and I can't part with them. I have so many posters and pinups that I haven't even put up that I keep in binders and envelopes.

Jessica - Your e-mail was definitely important to me. I didn't want to keep you waiting any longer. I got your reply and will reply to it soon. Hope you and your friends had fun at your party :-)

Kaileigh'ana Marie - Bsb posters are generally hard to find nowadays. I bought a lot of posters and magazines years ago. I also bought lots of posters and pinups off eBay. Nick did have a great juicy ass before. But I guess even though he lost his ass, he gained some abs.

Lolly - Thank you for thinking I have talent. I just write what I feel and see in my mind. I've never even had a boyfriend so I honestly don't even know how I can write about relationships, love, and sex when I've never even kissed a guy :-\ That's so cute y'all have like a book club session regarding the past, present, and future chapters of Fantasy/Reality.

Jocelyn

April 4th , 2009 @ 2:00 AM PST

"Kevin on Hallmark Channel tonight - Free Lotion at Victoria's Secret - I can see my floor again - Nick is heaven"

Kevin has a role in a Hallmark Channel movie called "Love Takes Wing." It's supposed to come on at 9pm EST but check your local listings. This may sound mean but I really haven't felt the weight of his depature. I love Backstreet either way though. As a foursome or a fivesome.

One of my hobbies is looking for freebies at stores. Victoria's Secret just came out with a new line of lotion called "Naturally." If you print out this coupon you can get a free sample. I got mine on Friday and it's very cute. It's something you can keep in your purse.

It's the weekend! Yay! I have no plans. I think I'm going to be very bored. If you can find a way to entertain me go ahead!

I finally got off my lazy ass and cleaned my floor. I should have taken a picture of how it looked before. I had crap everywhere. I finally organized everything into a neat pile and I can walk through my floor now. Before it was like walking through landmines. I had to avoid stepping on boxes and tripping over junk.

My eBay auction for a Clinique Moisture Surge moisturizer ends today. Bid on it if you need it :-D

Last Saturday I was extremely bored so I dug up my Aaron Carter concert DVD that has Nick singing "Heaven." That performance was the only reason I bought that DVD. I haven't even watched the whole DVD! I just skip to Nick singing "Heaven." It's beautiful. You can watch it here on youtube. When I saw this I was like... I kinda miss thick Nick. He actually had a juicy ass there.

I took a picture of a poster I have on my wall. Yes, I am 23 years old and still have posters of Nick Carter on my wall. I put up these posters when I was around 13-14 and they've been there ever since. I don't feel like taking them down. I love how Nick looks here:

Lolly - I'm amazed that Nick's amazed. Male readers are so rare here. I'm very flattered he thinks I have talent and I'm even more flattered that Jessica talks about my writing. I hope you all keep talking about me :-D

Dawn - Thanks for enjoying the Vday teaser. I just hate how I had the flow for it and all of a sudden it just stopped. The Chanel pack is definitely cool :-P I love the smell of the lotion. I still need to see if I can find the last episode of Kyle XY online. I watched some of it but I failed to pay attention so I missed out on what happened in the last 5 minutes. It just sucks that when shows are cancelled the writers/producers have to rush to create an ending and it ends up ruining everything. Just like Life on Mars, the last 5 minutes was like an entirely different show. They had the show be like one big dream for the main character! I was like whyyyyyyy. I missed Jesse on Greek. I'm not even a fan of that show but I'm curious to see Jesse on it. I'm sure ABC family will show the episodes many times so I'm not worried about missing it.

April - Stripes rock. I especially bought that top for that event. I knew stripes have a stigma, especially for big girls like me, but I loved the color and how it felt so I got it. Sometimes feeling dirty is good hehe I have to drink a little water too after taking medicine to wash down the after taste. Hope you had fun seeing the new Fast and Furious movie. I love Paul Walker too. He's hot. I enjoyed him in Joy Ride and Pleasantville.

Jessica - I hope I get the motivation too! I had the flow for it but all of a sudden it went away. I want to finish it though. Hopefully soon. I finally replied to your e-mail. I told myself I wasn't gonna go to sleep until I finished writing the e-mail to you. I know it's pretty long but I really appreciate everything you to me. I hope you successfully received the e-mail and if you didn't let me know. I also sent a copy of it to your myspace inbox.

Jocelyn

April 2nd , 2009 @ 3:25 AM PST

"Happy April - Backstreet Showing Some PDA"

Happy April everyone! It's a new month and I feel like it's a great time for a fresh start in everything. When I got sick the last week of February, I completely lost all my motivation to work out. It didn't help that I got sick again last week. This week I am aiming to at least 20 minutes of cardio each day to bring myself back into the habit of exercising. I am so tired of being fat. I want abs like Nick damn it!

I started writing Fantasy/Reality part 51 Tuesday night. There's a grand total of 2 paragraphs so far. The feedback I've received for part 50 has been such great fuel for me. It's giving me that extra nudge to get the writing going. I know I say this a lot but I really can't believe this story has lasted so long. I never planned for it to be this way. Part 1 wasn't supposed to have a part 2 or 3 or 50 lol

I was also remembering what sparked this whole Fantasy/Reality theme. In Fall 2006, I took a script analysis class with Dr. Walker in college. She's a fiesty black professor who is well into her 70's. In one of her lectures she said something that really struck me. She said without fantasies people wouldn't survive and there wouldn't be any point in living. It's fantasies that keep people going. I think that's so true. What she said stuck with me while I was trying to brainstorm a new short story. It had been a while since I had written anything new so I thought why not do something about fantasies and reality and tada! Here I am 50 parts later.

I watched the series finale of Life on Mars on ABC. The whole ending was going great until the last 5 minutes. I didn't feel it was a good ending.

I know this is going to sound a wee bit crazy but I can't stop thinking about a teenage Valarie. Age 16 to be exact. She's in my mind telling me her story about her life.

Backstreet posted a video on their official youtube channel of them in the studio. Nick isn't in it but a sample of the track "Public Display of Affection" is played and you can hear Nick sing "I want your PDA... A... A..." I think the star of the video is Big Poppa Prince Boi. He's hilarious with his sparkly shoes.

I'm going a wee bit crazy on eBay. I've successfully sold a few items so far and it feels great to let go of some things that are making mess in my room.

So if you want to own a piece of Jocelyn (and you live in the US) bid on my auctions. Remember how I got those Similac infant formula mysteriously? Apparently they're popular on eBay so I decided to list the 2 cans I received on eBay. I love that even though I am unemployed I'm finding ways to make a little extra money.

Sarah Jessica Parker Lovely Shower Gel

Clinique Moisture Surge Day Cream

Similac Advance Infant Formula

Similac Isomil Advance Infant Formula

Not only do I sell on eBay. I buy too. I bought some samples of Chanel beauty products. It also came with the Chanel shopping bag and a headband which you really can't see in the picture but it's at the bottom. *sigh* I know I'm Chanel obsessed.

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April - I'm hoping, praying, and crossing my fingers. Television means a lot to me. I enjoyed doing it in college and I enjoyed doing it at ABC. If you notice in my picture with Leslie I'm wearing stripes. I was wearing stripes before Nick was :-P Did you watch the Kids Choice Awards on Nickelodeon? I saw Taylor there presenting an award. I'm impressed you have so many hot dreams. I do feel better. I haven't been sniffling as much. I was taking the liquid Nyquil which is so disgusting. I don't get how some people use it to get high. It's so yucky.

Jessica - I'm glad you and Kaileigh'anna Marie loved the teaser for the Valentines story. It's about halfway done but I just haven't found the motivation to finish it off. I saw Backstreet twitter about "Public Display of Affection" too. Did you see the video of them in the studio where you can hear some of the song? It sounds all right and I hope we can hear the full version eventually. Also, I'm still working on that e-mail you sent me! Sorry it's taking so long! I will reply!

Sarah Carter - Awww I feel bad for Nick too in part 50. He's trying so hard for Viola and she's being so pissy. We'll just have to hope she'll loosen up in the future. That's great you got to be on the same flight as Nick and have the seat right behind him! I would be freaking out if that happened to me. He must have looked so adorable trying to sleep.

Lolly - I'd like to welcome you to my site! I absolutely love it when I find out about new readers. I am so flattered that Jessica has been spreading the word about me. That is so awesome. I'm glad you enjoy my story so much that you made your boyfriend read it! I remember reading a comment on the blog that was made a few days ago from a guy saying his girlfriend made him read the story and I don't want to assume but I think that's him? He said his name was Nick in the comment. Anyway, it's good to know that my writing can appeal to guys too since most of my readers are female.

Jocelyn

March 30th , 2009 @ 3:30 AM PST

"Blah... I'm fishing for comments: Preview of Valentines Day story- 1 Cock 2 Cocks 3 Cocks oh! "

A few weeks ago I got sick after I updated. Then this Monday March 23rd I could feel myself getting sick again. On Tuesday severe soreness took over my throat and I couldn't stop coughing. I couldn't believe in such a short amount of time I got sick again! Blah! I was sucking on sore throat drops and taking NyQuil. I thought NyQuil was supposed to make me drowsy. It doesn't. I took NyQuil a few nights ago at around 11 PM then I woke up at 3 AM. I didn't go back to sleep until almost 6 AM in the morning. I am feeling better now but I still feel a few germs in my throat.

I'm fishing for comments. I'm posting a brief snippet of that Valentines Day story I mentioned a few updates ago. I want feedback on something other than Fantasy/Reality lol ahhh Please let me know what you think.

Click here to read the Valentines Day story that has no title yet

I was entertaining the idea of writing a story for a threesome anthology. The editor said in her ad she would love to have one story with 3 men and 1 woman. That's a lot to handle. I was trying to imagine which 3 cocks I'd like to have sex with at the same time and I couldn't. Nick's the only one I want so I was like pfft I'll just take 3 Nick's. That would be fun hehe

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April - I love peace and quiet so much. If I can't hear myself think then I go crazy. That wouldn't be good if my old boss interprets an e-mail as harassment. I miss them so much. I've been having so many dreams about being back at work and with my co-workers. I need some dreams about Nick! It's hard to let go because that job was exactly what I need since it's in the television field and I want to go into television. I hope you were able to find the picture of me and Leslie on myspace.

Pauline - Shout out to Holland! I rarely wear make up too. I put it on when I feel like it. Although I've been wearing foundation lately because I have a horrible pimple breakout around my mouth :-( Thank you for loving part 50. When I write each part I plan which character I should tell the story through. Since Nick's been wanting sex I thought it would be better to have part 50 seen through his eyes. I enjoy writing through his perspective so much. It would be really fascinating if we could actually look into Nick's mind for a day see his thoughts.

Steph W. - Lauren does appear to be low maintenance but I can't really judge if she's a true good girl or not. People think I'm totally innocent but they don't know I have the nastiest mind ever and I think about sex a lot lmao! As long as Nick takes care of himself and keeps himself from any more damage to his health.

Jocelyn

March 23rd , 2009 @ 12:47 AM PST

"My new Burberry watch & Juicy Couture necklace - Jocelyn on Leslie Carter's myspace - Embrace who I am?"

Thanks everyone for the feedback and comments on Fantasy/Reality part 50. I haven't started part 51 yet. I'm letting part 50 sink in first before I dive into thinking about 51. Also, it's not too late to leave a comment if you haven't already! I refresh the blog and the shoutbox here so many times a day just to see if there's comments.

Jocelyn's bling blinging...

I had a giftcard I needed to use at Bloomingdales. I decided to put it towards a watch since I have a billion bags already. It was hard picking one but I decided on a silver Burberry:

I had some leftover money on the Bloomingdales giftcard so I decided to put it towards a Juicy Couture music note necklace. I had such a hard time deciding what to buy! It wasn't until I heard "Downpour" by Backstreet playing in the store that I took it as a sign I had to buy the music note necklace. My camera battery died so here's a stock picture of what it looks like:

My friend Catherine told me Friday night she was looking through pictures Leslie Carter recently uploaded on her myspace. One of the pictures Leslie added was of me and her from 2006 when I went down to Hollywood for her band's concert that was shown on House of Carter's. (I still cannot believe I drove my ass 6 hours all the way to Hollywood for that!) It surprises me that Leslie even has that picture of us and it surprises me even more that she even chose to upload it. It gives me memories of that exact moment.

My friend Whitney, me, and Riya, a reader here who messaged me on myspace, were standing on the sidewalk outside the club. We see Leslie and her band packing up their equipment into Leslie's BMW. For some reason we're kinda scared to ask her for a picture and we're stalling a bit. What's funny is I was much more nervous asking her for a picture than Nick. (I remember when I asked Nick for a picture earlier he said he had to see his sister perform and he tried to walk away really fast but before he could get too far I touched his back so he stopped and took a picture with me and Riya.) The 3 of us move closer to Leslie and I just blurt out can we get a picture and she takes a picture with the 3 of us. We were really the only people outside who cared about Leslie since most of the people who watched Leslie's set stayed inside to stare at Nick since he stayed inside with his friends. Whitney, Riya, and I couldn't stay inside because we weren't 21 at the time.

I was thinking not very many people I know personally have a clue I write explicit stories. I tell people I'm interested in writing but I always stop short of telling them exactly what I write. I feel embarassed about it. How can I tell people I write erotic romance? Is it something they should even know? Writing is definitely part of who I am now and there are times I want to blurt out I write porn. I just don't know if I should embrace who I am and not hold back or just keep it the way I have it going now. I know eventually I want the whole world to know about my writing. Writing can get mentally painful sometimes but I get so much more enjoyment writing for free than having a paid 9 to 5 job.

Also I have 2 eBay auction ending today. If you're interested in the items don't hesitate to bid:

YogaToes Toe Stretcher Spacer Massager

Never Worn Victorias Secret PINK Flip Flops Size Large fits 9-10

All right so I started writing this update at 11:14 PM and right now it's 12:42 PM. It takes me over an hour to write all of this and it includes replying to the shoutbox messages.

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Bilitis - I'm still amazed I've been fortunate to attend so many Backstreet events. When I had a job I made sure to save as much money as I could to fund for the tickets and travel expenses. I had a lot of fun seeing Brian and AJ's solo gigs. I honestly had more fun with AJ's solo gigs because I got a picture with him and I enjoyed his songs. I can't wait till the next tour! The last show of their tour is always interesting like how Nick stripped off his wifebeater at Hollywood. Whew! Maybe next tour we could meet up and see a concert together! I am so anxious for another tour. I can't get enough of seeing Backstreet in concert. That's interesting about my anxiety about unemployment sparked a dream for you! Maybe Aaron is in the middle of writing a book? What would he write about? "Bro Biz Before Show Biz" From your dream I think it's telling you to not doubt yourself and go with your first instinct. I wish you good luck in making positive changes in your life! No cupcakes in Belgium?! I guess having Belgian chocolates makes up for it :-P From Sprinkles Cupcakes I like vanilla and red velvet cupcakes with cream cheese frosting.

Mary - I'm impressed she's not blond. She does look simple and low maintenance. I think Nick's into the novelty that she's tall. If she wears heels, she'd tower over him.

April - It's all Nick's fault. He's made me a cupcake fiend. Thank you for enjoying the update! Nick will never win when it comes to his women. There were always be people out there who will criticize her. It would be tough being his girlfriend and having to deal with what the public thinks. I just want my own space and privacy. It's too crowded here with my 3 cousins living here. I want a quiet place so I can concentrate on my writing. I have a hard time writing if I hear noise. There are times where I just want to e-mail my old boss at ABC and let him know I'm alive but at the same time they're not reaching out to me. I don't want to look like I'm desperate for their attention. I feel they should be the one contacting me and letting me know what's up. I hate how it just had to end this way. I would have liked some closure you know? If they didn't want me around they should have just let me know that the last time I was there would be my last day ever you know? *sigh* I'm doing my best to keep positive but sometimes it just gets to me how everything played out. You're so lucky to have so many hot dreams of Nick. Give some to me :-P Maybe the reason Chellie and I can't have dreams about Nick is cause we think about him too much lmao Perhaps my dreams are like 'pffft you already write your dreams out in your stories'. It seems everyone who's read part 50 wouldn't have done what Viola did with wanting Nick out of the tub lol

nickcarter280 - It's unfortunate people are rude but it's part of reality. It's very refreshing to see Nick walking out of a bookstore than out of a club. I do remember you saying something about Barnes and Noble before! Hopefully you'll be able to B&N soon. Nick probably took a peek at our conversation and decided to go to B&N for you :-D You caught my special crop on FR part 50. I did that on purpose because I felt it fit the part better than if had shown him with his pants on. I hope you had a fun shower ;-) Thank you for thinking it was a great update and I should get started on part 51 soon. I want to let part 50 sink in a bit.

Dawn - I'm flattered you think FR part 50 is perfect. I struggled with writing it but it reassures me that you think it's perfect. Hmmm I wouldn't mind being Nick for a day lol! I'd have fun so much taking over his body rrar.

Jessica - Yay! I have another fan! I'm still shocked I have fans in the first place lol I really appreciate that you spread the word about Fantasy/Reality to your friend Kaileigh'anna Marie and got her hooked on it. I actually saw her comment on FR 50 on the blog :-) Sometimes I wonder how many readers of mine have spread the word about my stories. I always hope to gain new readers. Also, I did get your e-mail a few days ago and replied to it. Did you get it?

Jocelyn

March 20th , 2009 @ 1:15 AM PST

"Fantasy/Reality part 50 - Nick and his woman"

Happy spring everyone!

Fantasy/Reality part 50 is now available for your reading pleasure. I appreciate any feedback and comments you can provide to my story. It took me a while to sort out what I wanted to write so I hope you all like it. The word count for this part is over 4,900! I couldn't believe I wrote that much. I usually average 2,000 words per part.

Also, if you left a comment on Fantasy/Reality part 49 I replied to you! Can you believe I didn't take forever and a day to reply?! I'm comment 11 here.

Nick was spotted March 18th shopping at Barnes and Noble at The Grove in Los Angeles. It gives me fuzzies to see him shopping at a bookstore. I wish I could take a peek at what he bought. I want to know if he bought books, magazines, or comic books or all of the above. I've also been to that exact book store before and it's huge!

I also can't believe how tall his girlfriend is and I couldn't help thinking so that's the type of woman he likes when he's not drunk and high. He must have fun playing basketball with her.

I was also reading through the comments of the pictures of her on livedaily and it was interesting how similar the comments by some people there were like how I wrote them in Fantasy/Reality part 49. Some people were saying Lauren shouldn't wear such tight pants, that her shoes were ugly, that she looks rough, that her hips are wide, and that she needs to put more effort into herself if she's going out. Even Perez Hilton said on his blog Lauren looks manly and that Nick needs to upgrade his girlfriend. Ouch. I know when I go to the bookstore I don't feel the need to glam myself up.

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April - Washing make up off is such a pain! It seems all the hot guys are taken but life is so unpredictable and when we least expect it we probably will meet someone. I can't help feeling anxious! I don't like living at home. I love my parents and all but I just hate the constant nit picking and how they ask me to do things. I want to be able to live on my own and not have anyone bug me. Being unemployed hurts my feelings, especially with what I told you about ABC. I feel like why me? Why did that have to happen? And hurts because it feels like they don't even miss me when I miss them so much? I didn't really get to say bye and I hate how there's no closure with everything. *sigh* That was definitely an interesting and hot dream with Nick. I never have dreams with Nick like that! I want Nick dreams like that! Although a week before I saw Backstreet Boys in Vegas, I had a dream where I was front row and I got to interact with Nick and then when I went to the Vegas concert that pretty much happened. My dream literally came true. I couldn't believe it. Yes the cupcakes are Sprinkles. God damn Nick for getting me hooked on them.

Jocelyn

March 17th , 2009 @ 3:00 AM PST

"Happy St. Patricks Day - I've gone eBay crazy - Recurring Dream - I have so much Backstreet stuff "

Happy St. Patricks Day everyone! I indulged in St. Patricks Day themed cupcakes. I got a green velvet cupcake and a vanilla cupcake with a shamrock on it.

My teddy bear taking a peak at the treats:

This is where my magic writing happens. A shot of my computer, cupcakes, and Chanel:

I'm still working on Fantasy/Reality part so just hold on a bit longer!

I've gone a bit eBay crazy. I'm currently selling 3 items on eBay and 1 item on Bonanzle.

eBay:

Estee Lauder Advanced Night Repair

YogaToes Toe Stretcher Spacer Massager

Never Worn Victorias Secret PINK Flip Flops Size Large fits 9-10

After thinking about it for a long time. I decided to put one of my Chanel bags up for sale. It's called the Rock Flap and I bought it from Neiman Marcus in December 2008. Since I just bought a new Chanel a few weeks ago I figured I don't really need this particular bag anymore.

Bonanzle:

Chanel Rock Flap

For the 3rd time I've had a certain type of a dream. I would randomly show up somewhere and somehow I'd be administered a test in a subject I'm not familar with.

The first dream I had, I was at an airport and followed someone to a room. I sit at a table and am given a book and a test. I haven't read the book and I'm panicking. I try to skim the book really fast and when I try to write my answers my pencil breaks. I look through my bag and there's no back up pencils in there so I have to whisper to the person next to me, who happens to be Jason O'Mara from the show Life on Mars, for a pencil. He takes the longest time finding one. I keep looking at the clock and I know I won't finish in time. The other people around me are already finished with their test.

The second dream I don't remember the exact details but I know I'm taking a test in a subject I know nothing about.

In the 3rd dream I'm taking a math test with equations I haven't seen since high school. I have a book but the problem is I don't know where the sample formulas are. I'm flipping through the book frantically. Then I look to the person sitting next to me so I could see what page the formulas are on. I am experiencing the same panic I felt in the first dream. Everyone around me is concentrating on the test and I haven't even completed the first problem yet.

When I woke up from my latest dream I was compelled to look up the potential meaning of these dreams.

I google dream dictionary and click on the first link. When I looked up "exam" this is the defintion the dream dictionary gave:

"To dream that you are taking an exam, indicates that you are being put to the test or being scrutinized in some way. Such dreams highlight your feelings of being anxious and agitated. You may find that you cannot answer any of the questions on the test or that the test is in some foreign language. Is time running out and you find that you can not complete the exam in the allowed time? Or are you late to the exam? Does your pencil keep breaking during the exam? Such factors contribute to you failing this test. These dreams usually have to do with your self-esteem and confidence or your lack of. You are worried that you are not making the grade and measuring up to other people's expectations of you. You may also experience the fear of not being accepted, not being prepared, or not being good enough. You feel nervous, insecure and tend to believe the worst about yourself.

These dreams also suggest that you may feel unprepared for a challenge. Rarely, are these dreams about the content of the test, but rather the process and how you are feeling during the exam taking process. Generally, you feel distressed and frustrated. These feelings may parallel how you are feeling in a particular challenge or situation in your waking like.

Dreams of this nature are also an indication that you are being judged and this dream is a signal for you to examine an aspect of yourself that you may have been neglecting and need to pay attention to. You may harbor some guilt because of your neglect in preparation for a school exam, meeting, business project, or some challenge. Most of the time, though, people who have such dreams are unlikely to fail a test in real life. This dream goes back to their fear and own anxiety that they may not meet other's standards of them. They are afraid to let others down."
Source: Dream Dictionary

I was stunned after I read that because it's almost close to what I am feeling. Especially the parts I bolded. I do feel anxious sometimes and there are times my self-esteem is low. I feel like I'm not good enough especially with what happened at ABC and now that I really don't have a job :( And I do feel like I'm not meeting peoples expectations. Especially with my parents. I'm a college graduate but I'm unemployed and still live at home. I wish I had a steady job so I could have enough funds to find my own place. A lot of people, even my parents, tell me that I'm young and that I shouldn't be so worried and stressed out but I can't help it. I just want success and financially stability darn it.

Saturday night I decided to take a peek at my drawers where I keep most of my Backstreet Boys merchandise. I cannot believe how much stuff i have! I even found things I forgot I had. I wish there was a cool way I could display these things. I have so many magazines, CDs, and so on. I even found a Backstreet watch that was made when Black and Blue came out. What surprised me is the battery in the watch still works!

Nikki - "Close My Eyes" is a really song. I actually first heard it when I was listening to this Mexican internet radio station that plays Backstreet Boys music every Sunday night. They always play it and it grew on me. Nick sings the chorus really well. Also, all their voices blend really well together.

April - That's great you're feeling better. I think the last time I wore makeup was when I saw Backstreet in LA last year in November! lol Honestly I have no reason to pretty myself up for. I don't really go out and I don't have anyone to impress. Thank you for thinking my keychains are cute! I am so in love with them. In elementary school, middle school, and high school I remember we'd have earthquake drills where we'd duck and cover under our desks.

Mary - "Close My Eyes" is quickly becoming one of my favorite songs for the Unbreakable era. I think my favorite song off Unbreakable is "Unmistakable." That song is so perfect. The lyrics, the music, Backstreet's voices. Everything!

Melissa - I think what you think about how Nick named his solo album is close to what he has mentioned in interviews. At the time, he felt either he do his solo album now or face the possibility of never doing it. It would be nice to see Nick do another solo album but I'll be honest, I prefer him with Backstreet more.

Dawn - I can't wait for the pictures. I hope you're feeling better now. Being sick sucks so much. Earthquakes are so weird and it is scary because you never know when one will strike. I haven't listened entirely to Britney's latest albums. I currently love "Break The Ice," "If You Seek Amy" and "Womanizer."

Jocelyn

March 14th , 2009 @ 4:00 AM PST

"Happy Saturday - I cliff hangered myself - How come I never got one of these? - My new friend Oxy - If You Seek Amy Nick :-P - Close My Eyes - New Backstreet song?"

At this very moment I'm at 3,777 words for Fantasy/Reality part 50. I think this is becoming the longest part I've written since Olivia and Anderson's wedding. I'm still having a little trouble transferring the visions in my brain into words.

When I write I usually don't write everything at once. I'll write one sentence or one paragraph and then I'll be very exhausted. I also read somewhere when you write it's better to write the bones first and then add the meat later. That's usually what I do. Even if a sentence is lame, I'll type it out and then read it over and over until I finally get what I want.

I cliff hangered myself. In August 2008 I started writing a story called "Rejection." I lost interest in it but I discovered it the other day and read through it. I was surprised at how far I got. When I got to where I left off I was like noooo I want more hehe

So now I have "Rejection", that Valentines Day story that has no title, and that freaking story I started in 2006 that was inspired by something that happened on House of Carters. I want to finish these damn it and Fantasy/Reality *pulls hair*

I was wasting time looking at Nick Carter pictures when I came across this picture. How come I never got one? I didn't even know they existed.

My Ox keyfob finally arrived! I've named her Oxy. This is special to me because I was born under the year of the ox in 1985.

I also took a picture of my entire Coach keyfob/charm collection:

I forgot to say last Sunday I felt an earthquake. I was sleeping and dreaming about whatever when all of a sudden I'm jerked awake. It's an odd feeling and I honestly was expecting the earthquake to move harder but it didn't.

I'm fascinated with Britney Spears' song "If You Seek Amy." I didn't get it until I read on youtube what the phrase stands for lmao! I love double entendres ;-) Nick needs to if you seek Amy!

I am obsessed with the Backstreet Boys song "Close My Eyes." It's a B-side off the "Inconsolable" single. Nick sounds beautiful in it. You can listen to it here.

Backstreet wrapped up their South America yesterday in Mexico. At the soundcheck they briefly sang a portion of a new song. You can see the video here. There's no official title to the song yet but I'm speculating the song is called "Bigger" because it's mentioned in the song and on twitter they said they recorded a song called "Bigger" with Max Martin. Speaking of twitter, each Backstreet Boy has a twitter now.

http://twitter.com/aj_mclean

http://twitter.com/brian_littrell

http://twitter.com/howie_d

http://twitter.com/nick_carter

I'll join the bandwagon and plug my own twitter page:

http://twitter.com/berrydelicious

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April - That's good you're feeling better! I'm not really a makeup person but I've heard Hello Kitty for MAC is very popular so I think I'd go with that. I see a lot of ladies at the purse forum going crazy for it. Don't feel like a mean friend for forgetting to tell me you love my purse!

Dawn - If you can, please take pictures of your Coach clutch when you get it. I am a sucker for purse porn. I think the videos are proof they really care about their fans and are interested in keeping all of us updated. I hope Jesse comes to Northern Cali if he tours again. I did see the music video fo How Do You Sleep but honestly I'm not really into that song.

Steph W. - I am doing okay. I've been at home chillin'. Doing some writing here and there. I am very honored to be your favorite web master! I don't know what I did to earn that title but I am glad you consider me your favorite out of the millions of webmasters out there. As long as people like you keep coming back to my site I will definitely keep up the cool work.

Mary - I wish on twitter they wouldn't have said "self-portrait" in the title because it's misleading. I would be offended if Nick took one of my stories and was like self-written story.

Bilitis - Awww you're welcome! I'm glad you think my story is very good. I just write what I see and feel in my mind. I look forward to seeing you come back. Now we have another thing in common and that's being unemployed! Hopefully we'll find jobs in the future. I stay up late too either reading or writing stories. I feel more at peace late at night because it's so quiet. That picture from Peru gives me bad thoughts too. Oooh, I didn't notice Brian was doing that. Howie always wants to get in on the action! Also, if you're interested if you look under the navigation links on the left site of my site you'll links to my archived updates. I have every single blog I've made since I started this site in 2007 saved.

Jocelyn

March 10th , 2009 @ 2:35 AM PDT

"I huff my new baby - Nick's a fairy with abs - Water butt! - Baby Milk Package - Secret Life "

I have minor writers block with Fantasy/Reality part 50. I have over 2,000 words written so far. It just needs one more scene. I know what I want to write but what's giving me trouble is actually writing it. Does that make sense? I see the scene in mind perfectly. I can verbally describe it but when it comes to writing it my mind is blank. Wouldn't that be weird if I just update with my 2,000 words and then put a link at the bottom of just me narrating the rest :-P Oh well, I'll probably get over this hump soon.

When I read in the shoutbox that Fantasy/Reality gained a new reader named Bilitis, it reminded me that not everyone who comes here is familiar with the story. I imagined myself as a new reader who wanted a story to read. That's when I discovered it's kind of hard to find Fantasy/Reality on my site if you're a newbie here. I thought if it was my first time here and I read my babbles I'd be confused on where to find the stories. So what I did was on the right side I created a "Featured Story" section where a link to Fantasy/Reality would live so that new readers can easily find it. It's also useful for the veteran readers since they wouldn't have to dig through my incessant babbling to find the link to the story.

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I've been wanting to buy a black Chanel caviar flap for awhile but I wanted to wait until I gathered enough funds. I got my taxes done over the weekend and discovered I would be receiving a great refund. I will be pouring all of my refund into my new baby. I ordered it from Bloomingdales in Massachusetts.

There was a promotion going on where for every $250.00 spent, you'd receive a $50.00 giftcard so I took the dive. Plus my purchase was tax free because I ordered from a store out of California and I got 10% off since I applied for a store credit card.

I present my new baby Chanel ahhhhhhhhhhhh! You can click on the pictures to expand them.

Here's my baby chilling on my bed:

 

Here's my baby on me:

I don't watch The Hills but I've seen paparazzi pictures of Lauren Conrad with the same bag as mine :-P

I also received a 25% off coupon for the Coach boutique. I went ahead and ordered the year of the Ox keychain I've been wanting for a while. I'm so glad I waited until I got the coupon because I saved a buttload of money and I got free shipping! I'll be getting it some time next week. Here's a picture of what it looks like:

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Who saw the drawing of Nick as a fairy with abs? The caption says Nick drew it himself. It's an interesting drawing. I love the shadowy part near his crotch.

Once again Nick makes me laugh. There's a new video up on the Bsb official youtube account of Backstreet talking about their poops. Nick saying Brian's got water butt is so precious.

I got the most random package last week. I didn't remember ordering anything. On the box it said "Strong Start" and it said there were free samples inside. I wasn't exactly sure what the samples were so I open the box and discover two big containers of similac baby formula! One was blue for a boy and one was red for a girl. It made me laugh because I thought heeey this package is for Viola not Jocelyn! I don't even know how I ended up on this mailing list. I'm not even a mom and I'm not even close to being one.

I was watching the episode of "The Secret Life of the American Teenager" last night and I'm really enjoying it. If you don't want it spoiled stop reading any further but I loved the end of the episode where Amy was calling Ricky to come to the hospital because the baby was coming and Ricky looked so happy that Amy was calling him. I think the love triangle between Amy/Ben/Ricky is being written well. In a way Ricky reminds me of Nick in Fantasy/Reality because at first Ricky is just a jerk who wanted sex with Amy but then she got pregnant and he realized he wanted to care of the baby and realized he has feelings for Amy.

I also thought it was so cute when Jack and the kid he was mentoring went into Ricky's room unannounced and found that Ricky had a baby doll on the floor. The reason Ricky has a doll is because he was practicing putting a diaper on a baby so that he'll be ready when Amy gives birth.

Once again a show I really enjoy is getting cancelled! I discovered "Life on Mars" got cancelled last week. Why is it everytime I like a show it goes poof? I liked Dirty, Sexy, Money, it got cancelled, I recently got into Kyle XY, it got cancelled, I love Life on Mars and it gets cancelled! Why? Why? Why? I thought the show was very interesting and I loved the theme of being stuck in a different decade. But at least I read that since the producers of the show were notified of the cancellation in a timely mannter, the remaining 5 episodes will be aired and that viewers will have some sort of closure on the storylines.

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April - That sucks you caught a cold! Hope you're feeling better. Biting nails is such a horrible habit but it's hard to break. I've been better about it lately though. In the past I used to bite all my nails but now I've narrowed it down to my middle finger on my left hand. I don't like it when online stores charge so much for shipping. I wish I was near that store but unfortunately it's too far from where I am. I wish I could help you. Good luck on sweet talking your mom about the youtube problem. There's so much Backstreet media and I'm definitely getting a heavy fix of Nick right now!

Mary - Yep, Lauren went to Puerto Rico with Nick and they got to hang out at the beach. It looked like so much fun. I found it interesting though in that Puerto Rico video Nick was holding a book. I wonder what book he was reading at the beach.

Dawn - I'm loving all these new videos Backstreet has been doing. Plus they're really cute and funny which makes them so much more special. I love that they're taking time out of their schedule to film videos like these. It really makes me feel like I'm on tour with them. The new version of Depature is set to come out next month. I hope this means he'll go on tour again because I'd love to see hiim live. I am feeling better, just a few coughs here and there. The new chapter should be out soon!

Bilitis - Welcome to my site! It's nice to meet a new Fantasy/Reality reader! How did you hear about my story? Thank you for loving the story so far. I hope you continue to come back and check up on the updates. Don't ever hesitate to leave a comment. I actually had to skim to the end of part 13 to see what happened at the end that made you scream. I know how it feels to be so sleepy but wanting to read more of a story. I hope you didn't lose too much sleep!

Jessica - I have seen the wet version of the Drowning video. Nick is definitely hot in it. I miss the earrings on him. Have you seen the behind the scenes video of Drowning? It's funny. Nick talks about Howie's pain from getting sprayed with water. I can't believe Nick was around 21 when this video came out! I do believe Nick is berry *delicious* It would be interesting to see an edgy punk version of Nick. He's the type that can pull off almost any look. There's a lot of version of Nick I want in poster size hehe I'm still working on the next chapter so keep checking back for an update.

Sarah - It's good to see you visit again! Thank you for thinking my website is amazing. I do my best to make sure it's up to date. Have fun reading Fantasy/Reality and don't forget to leave feedback on it :-D

Jocelyn

March 4th , 2009 @ 2:53 AM PDT

"Nick likes to masticate - I'll be a tease for a moment..."

I was watching this video of Backstreet at the airport in Chile and Backstreet's manager, Jenn, is handling the camera. She's talking about how she thinks Justin, one of the fan club dudes, threw up on the camera. You can see Nick just standing there with his gum hanging out of his mouth. It's hilarious and gross at the same time. I am not a fan of loud smacking gum chewers. Drives me nuts. Anywhoo, I took a screen cap of it!

This is how dirty minded I am... warning obscene thought coming:

Doesn't his gum look like there's a string of come on his face?

Have you all seen the new Backstreet Boys website? It has a buttload of pictures of Backstreet in the recording studio.

Here's another Twitter picture of Backstreet getting ready to go on stage in Argentina. Nick looks so hot doing his hair.

I'll be a tease for a moment. I have about 600 words of Fantasy/Reality part 50 written. Here's a paragraph from part 50 to tide you over for the meantine :-)

Nick's eyes snapped open. His heart was beating at a thunderous rate. He could hear the pitter patter of rain falling outside and through the window of the room he could see the gloomy grey sky. The clock on the wall indicated it was a quarter past nine in the morning. By his side, Viola was still asleep. He looked at her for a few moments hoping it would calm down his nerves but it didn't help at all.

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Mandie - Nick is definitely an amazing performer. He has so much energy and knows how to keep the crowd engaged. I just adored how energetic he was in that "Panic" video.

April -Awww well I hope your friends get well soon! As long as you are careful and wash your hands you probably won't get sick. I think part of the reason I got sick is I have this horrible habit of biting my nails and I think the germs from my fingers invaded my throat. Your cable company must have something against funny/hot vidoes of Nick hehe I hope it gets resolved soon. I'm not really that close to Hollywood. It would take me 6 hours to drive down there unless I break all the speed laws I can make it there in about 4 and half hours lmao What favor were you going to ask? As silly as this sounds I usually only go down there for Backstreet related events.

Melissa - Nothing really exciting is going on with me. I've been unemployed since January. Most of my time has been spent at home brainstorming my writing. Nick does look damn gorgeous. It's a freaking sin to look that good. I think the reason why Nick smelled the pina colada was because of his cardiomyopathy condition. His doctor told him to not drink anymore alcohol because if he does it'll only damage his heart even more.

Jocelyn

March 2nd , 2009 @ 2:35 AM PDT

"Nick needs to stop making me laugh so hard late at night"

The fan club shot some video of Nick, Howie, and AJ backstage in Chile. Nick is so hyper and energetic! He gives an impromptu tour of the bathroom and he points at the tub and says "This is my bathroom 'kay. Right here, where the magic happens. Right here." lmaaaaaao Then at 2:06 Nick just acts hella weird and spastic. He starts going "beat it beat it beat it owww!" in a high pitched voice. *sigh* I shouldn't be laughing so hard late at night lol I'm all Nick'd out.

Watch Backstreet in Chile Here

Here are some concert videos I've seen. These vids make me feel like I'm at the concert! *sigh*

Video of "Unmistakable" in Caracas Here Nick sexy yo :-)

Video of "Panic" in Caracas Here rrar :-D

Video of "One in a Million" from the Caracas Soundcheck party I like Nick's manpri's and he's adorable playing with the keyboards

Video of "I Got You" in Puerto Rico the audio kinda sucks but it's pretty upclose lol

Backstreet also has an official youtube channel. There's video of Howie drinking my favorite drink ever the pina colada. Nick's cute, he smells it lol

Here's a picture of Nick and Brian on the computer... looking at my website maybe?! lmao j/k I love that Nick's on an apple laptop. I have a similar laptop but his is bigger than my mine ;-)

Here's a delicious picture of AJ, Nick, and Howie at the concert afterparty in Chile Nick looks berry *delicious*

*sigh* With each video I watch of Backstreet in South America, the more I miss seeing them live. Why can't I win the lottery this week so I can go down there and see them? *pout*

I am feeling a little better. My voice is still scratchy and I'm coughing a bit so hopefully in the coming days I'll be 100%!

I also started doing my ghetto outline of Fantasy/Reality part 50. Man 50 parts already? Geeeeeeeeez.

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April - If the problem persists I'd go ahead and call the cable company. I wouldn't know what to do with myself if I couldn't access youtube. I am feeling better. It seems a lot of people are getting sick boo! Hope your friend Teri gets better!

Nikki - hehe I wouldn't mind being his hand either. It was totally random I caught that. As I was typing my comments to that video I just had to watch it one more time to verify the timecodes and that's when I caught that precious crotch grab. It seems like he was checking to make sure it was still there.

Dawn - I'm glad Oxygen will be included in the new version of Depature. It's a hot song. The lyrics are beautiful. It sucks being sick! I hate it! Mmhmm we all deserve some TLN.

Mandy - My update making you smile makes me smile! I like cute plots so it's good to know my plot is cute to you. Thank you for the get well wish. I hope to be completely healthy soon.

Jocelyn

March 1st , 2009 @ 2:50 AM PDT

"It's March! - My F/R Comment Replies! - I'm sick :-( - Some Links to videos of Backstreet in South America"

I can't believe it's March already. Before I know it summer will be here!

I spent my Saturday evening replying to the comments left in Fantasy/Reality parts 46, 47, and 48. When I saw that I hadn't replied to comments since October 2008 I was shocked! I need to get better a replying to these comments.

I won't reply to the comments in part 49 yet because I'm giving other readers time to leave a comment.

What I did was copy and paste the comments for parts 46 and part 47 here on this page. For part 48 you can find my replies on the blog here. I hope finally responding to the comments inspires those of you who have quit leaving comments to leave a comment on part 49. *bats eyelashes*

I didn't mention this in the last update but I've been terribly sick for the past week. I need some TLN = Tender Love and Nick. It all started Monday night Feb. 23rd. My body started to get hot and then after that I had a fever, sore throat, and headache :-( I'm still sick and voice is all nasal. I have no sense of taste at the moment. I'm glad that I got to update right before I got heavily sick. The comments in Fantasy/Reality part 49 so far have helped cheered me up.

For those who haven't caught up you can read Fantasy/Reality part 49 here.

I have to say I'm loving the pictures and reviews I'm reading from fans seeing Backstreet in South America. I know it's not often they get to visit those places so I am happy those fans have the chance to see them in concert.

I have some links to some interesting Backstreet videos in South America. *sigh* Watching these videos makes me crave another Backstreet tour. I am so ready for another tour. Hopefully by the time they tour I'll have a full time job and enough money to see them again.

Watch Backstreet perform Spanish Eyes at the soundcheck in Peru

Watch Backstreet perform I'll Never Break Your Heart at the soundcheck in Peru (Nick looks so darn cute here :-P)

Also, that interview from Peru that I talked about in the previous update is available for download here. I swear this is the funniest interview I've ever seen.

Watch Backstreet at a press conference in Peru (too bad there's a translator talking over Nick, Brian, and AJ lmao You can see Nick doodling at 2:33 which I thought was funny because it's like hello you're at a press conference, pay attention and at 3:17 while AJ is talking Nick totally zones out. I wonder what he's thinking. It looks like: Blah, blah, blah AJ lmao and oh my gosh at 4:16 watch Nick's hand, it looks like he petted his cock lmaaaaaaaao)

So my room is a complete mess and being sick made it a bit more messier. I have this teddy bear that I got from ABC and when I looked at it I laughed. It was on its back with a Halls cough drop wrapper on it and the plastic cup from my Dimetapp cold and cough medicine in it's hand. I couldn't believe it! I did not set it up! Everything just fell into place without me knowing. I had to take a picture of it because it looked so much like how I've been the past few days. I've been sucking on Halls cough drops and downing the cold medicine.

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April - That sucks you can't see the videos! They work for me. I went through the transaction Friday evening and will be expecting my new baby Chanel to arrive in a few days. When it arrives, I'll post more details about it.

Jocelyn

February 28th , 2009 @ 3:50 AM PDT

"I couldn't go to sleep until I shared some precious videos of Backstreet Boys"

It's past 3am and I'm still up!

I just watched this interview Backstreet Boys taped in Peru a few days ago. It's the most hilarious interview I've ever seen. One of my favorite parts is when Nick says "I'm underage." lmaaaaao

Watch Backstreet on Nemigos Intimos Here

Then I watched another video from the soundcheck in Caracas, Venezuela. A fan asks Nick if he has any questions for the other Backstreet Boys so he asks AJ, Howie, and Brian a question. It's really cute! I can see it now, Nick Carter, the interviewer. Move over Charlie Gibson :-P

Watch the Soundcheck in Caracas Here

There's this picture of Backstreet during a press conference in Peru. If you look closely, there's a glass right in front of Nick's junk. The placement is so perfect. I can't help but wonder was that on purpose or just a mere coincidence? Also, if you look even closer, there's also a glass in front of Howie's junk and a bottle in front of Aj's junk too. Brian is the only one without anything in front of his junk. Ahhhh, the things I notice in pictures...

Click here to see a glass in front of NIck's penis

Also, in the part 49 comments for Fantasy/Reality I read that Fernanda, you're having problems reading the part? Can you try clicking this link and then telling me if that works for you?

My goal this weekend is to get around to replying to the comments left for Fantasy/Reality parts 46, 47, and 48. Whew! I'm so behind. Thanks to Nikki, Brittany, Mary, Jessica, Melissa, and LaShonda for leaving comments so far. I love how long and detailed they are! Yay! Hopefully this weekend some more of you all will read and leave a comment.

I did a lot of damage on Friday. I bought a Chanel bag. OMG :-O Details coming later...

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April - You're welcome for the update! I'm glad you enjoyed it. Can't beat the sunset, water, and Nick! They all go well together.

Dawn - Glad you thought it was a great chapter. I had a great time writing it. Sometimes I spent too much time staring at Nick rather than listening to what he has to say. Bad, I know :-P Oxygen is my new jam. I swear you got me hooked on this song! I found out that Jesse's album, Depature, is going to be re-released in April so I think I'm going to buy it! I'm still getting used to the kinks of twitter. I have enough crap too but it's fun following Backstreet on it!

Jocelyn

February 25th , 2009 @ 12:55 AM PDT

"Fantasy/Reality Part 49-Backstreet Boys Made Me Join Twitter-HQ pictures of Nick's People Magazine Shoot"

Fantasy/Reality part 49 was easy for me to write because I had it all outlined. As always please read it and leave a comment on it. I know I'm really behind on responding to comments so don't let that discourage you. I will reply to them, I just haven't found the opportunity yet.

Read Fantasy/Reality Part 49 Here

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For a few months I've thought about joining Twitter since I've been hearing some buzz about it. Then it came out Backstreet Boys were on it so I caved in and joined it. I think if I get enough people following me who come here and visit my site, I'll use it to talk about updates and my writing. You can follow me here: http://www.twitter.com/berrydelicious/

Backstreet has done a great job updating their Twitter so far. They've mentioned they've done a song with Max Martin called "Bigger." If you didn't know already, Backstreet is currently touring South America. Are any of you going to see them there?

There's also a picture of Nick, Howie, and Brian in front of the sunset in Peru. It's so pretty and romantic. You can see the picture here. Nick seems to be in love with that hat he's wearing.

There's also some additional pictures of Nick at his birthday in Canada here. The reason I share them with you all is... HE IS WEARING A WATCH! I have a fetish for guys who wear watches. It's so sexy and hot and makes me randy.

For pictures of Nick, Brian, and Howie at the beach you can find them here.

The owner of Popstar High Resolution Gallery has found some high quality pictures of the photoshoot! The pictures are so huge you can read what kind of underwear Nick's wearing. (He's wearing Gap undies) You can see them here.

For those who missed Nick on Ellen last week you can watch the interview on youtube here. I noticed he has this quirk where before he'd answer a question his cheek would plump up and his dimple would fainly show up.

There were two moments during the interview that freaked me out. The night before I watched the interview I was writing Fantasy/Reality part 49 and there was one sentence I wrote from Viola's perspective. In reference to Nick she thought, "He was human and had flaws like everyone else." Then in the interview Nick said he was human and that he makes mistakes. The other moment was when Nick said he was focusing his attention on sports and video games!!! Is he in my freaking mind? You know that Valentines Day themed story I kept talking about? Yes, it's about Nick and video games. Hmmmph!

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Mary - I personally liked the Sweet Cream cupcakes from Cold Stone. I didn't even notice Nick was wearing suspenders until you pointed it out! That just shows you where my eyes were.

Nikki - Me! My mind is deeply in the gutter thanks to Nick. It doesn't help that the look he's giving the mirror while he's brushing his teeth is like "yeah I'm a sexy motherfucker." Bathroom sex with NIck would be so hot. Imagine standing in front of the sink and mirror and he'd be fucking you from behind. hehe I am honored that my site can provide you with the latest news on Bsb/Nick! I will do my best to keep doing that! I am also impressed that you've been a long time visitor of my site. I always wonder if anyone from the Berry *Delicious* Nick Carter Stories days still come here. I know tons of people have come and gone and I know I've lost a few people due to the website address changes but I'm glad you've been able to keep up with me for so long.

Mandie - I think you used your free time wisely ;-) All the pictures you used were hot.

Dawn - You're so lucky to have seen Jesse recently! If he was coming near me I'd definitely go see him. Back in his "Beautiful Soul" days I went to 2 of his shows and loved him. Thank you for telling me about "Oxygen." I seriously can't stop listening to it now and if you go to my Twitter page, I wrote something about how I can't stop listening to it. It's a hot song! Cupcakes are my new drugs. I got some more this weekend and man, the red velvet killed me.

Guest - I agree! I can't get enough of looking at him. Part 49 of Fantasy/Reality is out now so I hope you read it and enjoy it. Don't hesitate to leave me feedback on it.

Jocelyn

February 19th , 2009 @ 2:20 AM PDT

"Nick on Ellen Today - People Magazine Photoshoot out takes- Trip down memory lane - Sorry Viola I'm cheating on you"

The banner up there was created by Mandie and I just thought it was really nice of her to spend some of her spare time to make a banner for my site. Thank you so much Mandie :-)

Nick is going to be on the Ellen Degeneres show today to talk about his People Magazine article. Check your local listings for the time. If you miss it, I'm sure it'll end up online and I'll post a link to download it here.

This website has out takes of Nick's People magazine photoshoot. He looks so yummy. There's a couple of pictures in a maroonish sweater and it's a great color on him. There's even pictures of him brushing his teeth! Only Nick could make brushing teeth sexy.

I had a brief moment of panic when I thought I'd lost "The Episodes" forever. The site where the story used to live no longer exists and I knew many moons ago I copied the story onto a CD. I couldn't find that CD anywhere so I went through the internet archive and found it. I read over the first couple of episodes and wow, I still can't believe I had such a dirty mind at 13 and it's totally weird because I'm 23 right now. Gosh I'm old.

It is hilarious reading through my old blogs from when I was in high school. I used to babble so much about this guy I really liked but he never liked me back *yawns* and it turns out now he's dating this girl from high school.

Then I found two other stories I wrote. One was "Completely Out of Line." Does anyone remember reading that one? I never finished it. I also found "Extreme Love."

I cheated on Viola for a few days while I focused my attention on that Valentines Day themed story that still doesn't have a title. I know it's way past Valentines Day. The story took a life of it's own and I had to go with the flow. I didn't finish writing it yet but I know I will since I know how to end it. I love how I've had this idea for over a year and it's only now I get around to doing something about it.

I also started Fantasy/Reality part 49. So far I have over 600 words yay! I like to check up on Megan Hart's blog, she's one of my favorite writers, and usually she tells readers how many words she has written in one day and most of the time it's over 3,500! I'd love to someday reach those kind of numbers. I struggle to reach 2,000 words.

Wowsa, so I like to waste electricity and have my TV on as background noise while I'm writing/reading. My TV was tuned onto NBC's Poker After Dark and I glance quickly at the screen and see the hottest guy ever playing poker. Usually the guys on there are old and ugly but wow this guy was so hot. I found out his name is Taylor Caby and he started an online poker website. Now I have a reason to pay attention to the show and hope he lasts a while :-P

And right now I'm watching Jesse McCartney's music video for "It's Over" for the first time and he's hot so in it. I can't help comparing him to Aaron. I think Jesse successfully changed his image and music without looking like he tried too hard. Will Aaron ever grace us with his music again? Anyone remember his whole War Wounds thing and Nick totally made fun of him for it.

Also, I didn't listen to the interview but someone who listened to it said Aaron mentioned something almost happened with hiim and Paris. That's kinda gross. If I were him, I wouldn't have admitted something almost happened with my bro's ex gf lol Aaron just reaffirms that he likes to go places his brother has been lol

Anyhoo, has anyone seen Jesse's video for T-Pain's song "Buy You a Drank"? I loooooooove his version more than the original.

To keep up with the theme of cupcakes... I went to Cold Stone Creamery last week and but ice cream cupcakes. They look better than they taste (I hope Nick isn't like that :-\). I prefer the taste of Sprinkles Cupcakes than these. It was too much frosting/whipped cream and not enough ice cream and cake. I gained 10lbs for no reason. Here's some food porn:

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April - I know I'm evil. I love food porn! They are so ridiculously expensive. One cupcake costs $3.25 but they're so good. Bean does give off the sleaze vibe but then again Nick has sleazy tendencies too. He's no saint and sometimes the company you keep is a reflection of who you are too. To have a job traveling would seem too exhausting for me. I like staying close to home most of the time. It's good to know you think Confessions of a Shopaholic is a cute movie. I'd like to read the book first before watching the movie. I haven't read any of Nicholas Sparks' books but I've heard a lot of good things about them. I watched "The Notebook" movie and thought the plot was very good. I wasn't a fan of "A Walk to Remember." I remember in high school, girls were crazy over that movie so I watched it and didn't really like it, it was too predictable. I also can't wait to see Nick on Ellen. She's a funny person so I'm sure the interview won't be too serious.

Dawn - They are very good cupcakes. I need to learn how to bake. All I need is cupcakes and Nick and I'm set. I hope Nick takes care of himself because a disease involving the heart is nothing to mess around with. He's only 29 years old and I don't want him to die so young. I'm praying for him too.

Mandie - Practice does make permanent. I wish I could make nice graphics because I know in the world of TV being part of graphics and design pays a lot.

Mandy - Sprinkles Cupcakes are very good and very cute. I wish I could take all of you to Sprinkles to try one.

Steph W. - I hope Nick dances with Ellen too! They better use a good intro song for him.

Nikki - That is so sweet and generous of your boyfriend to find the People Magazine for you and suprise you with it! I'm also glad that my website could break news to you. Sometimes I feel it's pointless to pass on news here because it's everywhere else but now that you say you found out here first about the People Magazine thing I'll continue to mention updates about Nick's career.

Jocelyn

February 9th , 2009 @ 2:35 AM PDT

"2 of my stories published in Love Notes: A Music and Sex anthology - Nick on TMZ - Hidden Treasures - Sprinkles!"

Two of my stories, Rock Star Baby and Musically Arousing, are currently published in Love Notes: A Music and Sex Anthology. It was released on February 5th and is now available for download! It would mean the world to me if every single one of you would buy this e-book. It's only $4.99 and that's hella cheap!

Also, the website is having a promotion where if you buy a full length e-book by February 14th you'll receive a $5.00 gift certificate towards any other e-book/audio book on the site!

Check out and buy Love Notes: A Music & Sex Anthology here

There's video of Nick on TMZ at his 29th birthday party from a few weeks ago. He apparently has a shot of Bacardi 151. I know it was his birthday and all but I don't think he should have had that shot knowing his condition.

Since we're on the TMZ track, here's a link to Brian on TMZ talking a bit about Nick and AJ. There's some mixed reviews on what he said in the video. I honestly don't think there was anything wrong with what he said.

I outlined Fantasy/Reality part 49 a few days ago so I'll be starting that soon. Don't forget it's not too late to leave a comment on part 48. I only have 4 comments so far and I know there's more than 4 of you reading the story so don't be shy :-)

Visit Fantasy/Reality part 48 if you haven't already!

I was doing some digging the other night and I found a short story that I started last year around this time. It was a Valentine's Day themed story and doesn't have a title... yet. I read it over and didn't realize I had written more than I originally thought. I'm challenging myself to finish it by Valentine's Day. Let's see if I can do it. If not, too bad :-\

My goal this past weekend was to go to Sprinkles Cupcakes and I was fortunate enough to get in before they closed. They are so damn good. Next time I want to buy the peanut butter flavored cupcakes. I was sad that they were sold out of those so I went ahead and ordered the 2 vanilla flavors and my dad got one chocolate.

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April - I read that there's a possibility there will be a Girl's Next Door with the new girlfriends. A lot of people on the purse blog message board are saying the new girls are a total downgrade from the original 3. I don't really know much about mean but there's been a lot of mixed reviews on him on livedaily lol Some people think he's sleazy and others think he's cool. The craziest thing I've heard is Bean and Nick would engage in threesomes. In a way, I feel Nick being diagnosed with cardiomyopathy is a blessing in disguise because it was a big wake up call for him. If he hadn't been diagnosed I wouldn't be surprised if he continued on a downward spiral. It's just so sad he got sucked into the path of drugs and alcohol. I hope the best for him because he's still so young and I feel he still has a lot to offer to the world. The picture of Nick by the pool in the article is pretty BUT his toe irks me lol When I first saw it, my eyes immediately zeroed in on his toe before his face. I saw the preview for Bridget's show and it looks fun. It makes me excited for the summer!

Mandie - Nick is definitely gorgeous. As he gets older he gets more attractive. Seeing how his body changed really inspires me to change my body. I do have to say I love Nick with abs and without abs. I'll take either one. You do a really good job with the icons. I don't think you need anymore practice, you seem to have a creative eye :-P

Nikki - I think a lot of us have died and gone to Nick Carter heaven! After years of wanting him to take it off he finally does. Good things come to those who wait. When I first saw the picture I gasped and my jaw dropped to the ground.

Jocelyn

February 5th , 2009 @ 4:20 PM PDT

"Nick's People Magazine Article - Links to Interviews"

I haven't bought the magazine yet but I read the entire article online here.

Here are two clearer versions of the pictures in the magazine:

It's weird how a couple of weeks ago I made a comment regarding the book about Paris that was coming out that Nick has probably done worse drugs than marijuana and now this week it was confirmed that he did. I had an inkling he had dabbled in harder drugs but I never imagined it would be so much that he would drink half a bottle of alcohol a night and chase it down with cocaine.

I remember in 2007 when I went to Nick's charity event in LA and I told my dad how Nick went to the bathroom so many times that night and my dad made a remark saying it's cause he was probably doing cocaine in the bathroom. I just didn't think Nick would recreationally do cocaine.

What really got me is when he talks about the night before he got his test results from the doctor. He said, "I went out and I just went nuts. I drank so much and did a bunch of blow. I felt like I was trying to kill myself - because I didn't want to get the results."

I also find what he said the morning after doing lots of cocaine so sad. That had to be such a low point for him especially since he is a singer who is used to young people looking up to him with big smiles on their faces.

"We were walking past a school the next morning, and we look like zombies, and I just remembered these kids looking at me, I felt so disgusted."

It also disappoints me that his so called Hollywood "friends" introduced him to cocaine in his mid-20s. To me, those aren't friends. What kind of good friend does that?

I just hope and pray that Nick can continue to pull through. Getting past drugs and alcohol is a difficult battle. He's such a talented and beautiful person. I'd hate for him to become another statistic. He definitely is too young to die and I'm glad he realized he has a problem and is taking the necessary steps to improve himself inside and out.

Here are some Nick interviews/blurbs about the People magazine article. Thanks to Emilia from Kaos Online for capturing these:

Inside Edition

E! Daily 10

Download the people.com here or you can watch it here

Keep the comments coming on Fantasy/Reality coming. Thanks to Brittany, Mandie, and LaShonda for leaving a comment on part 48. I know I haven't replied to the comments on part 47 yet. I'm working on doing that and will probably reply to them around the same time as I reply to the part 48 comments.

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Mandie - Thanks for the link to your icons. The one you made about Nick and the sex face is great! I also love the other icons you've made. I really like your work.

April - Paying for the library is just whack to me. I always thought the point of the library was so people wouldn't have to pay for books and media materials. I'd rather save my $40.00 and just buy books. What do you think of Hugh Hefner's new girlfriends? They aren't as hot as the original three. Man, I wanna have 3 boyfriends. Maybe someday lol I remember Jesse Metcalfe when he was Miguel on Passions. He was so annoying whining over Charity and poor Kaye did her best to win him over but it never worked out for her. The People magazine article was definitely a lot to take. Like you, I knew Nick partied a lot but I didn't think it was to the point where he was nearly kililng himself.

Dawn - That episode of CSI sounds interesting. Maybe I can find a bootleg version online lol I could never really get into Supernatural. I know it's a hit but I guess I'm more into shows with romance and love. I'm not into One Tree Hill either but I think James Lafferty is hot. I did see that one episode where his son was at the piano recital and he kept messing up so he told jokes. That was really cute. Thanks for thinking the chapter was great and I'm going on my magazine hunt this Friday! I am proud of Nick too and I really am cheering for him to keep on fighting.

Jocelyn

February 4th , 2009 @ 4:30 PM PDT

"Holy Shit, Nick Carter half naked - Don't forget about Fantasy/Reality"

On LiveDaily, I read that the People magazine issue with Nick in it comes out this week! So go out and buy your copy! Also, Nick was mentioned on Inside Edition, a video of it should be up online soon.

Here's the cover:

eyeluvtrouble510 from LiveDaily was lucky enough to score a copy and she took a picture of Nick shirtless in the magazine. I am absolutely amazed at his body rrar!

Here are some links to the other pictures she took: Pic 1& Pic 2

I haven't read the entire article yet but judging by the headline on the cover it's clear what the topic is. In the article at Contact Music website it says he was diagnosed with cardiomyopathy which is a build up of toxins that prevents the heart from pumping blood efficiently.

Don't be so distracted by Nick's abs that you forget to read and review Fantasy/Reality! You can find the story here!

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Pauline - I'm glad you love part 48. I've actually thought about turning it into a book but I'd like to finish it first before thinking that far ahead. I'd love to see Nick's reaction too but I doubt he'd care to read something he knew he inspired. Who knows, maybe I can turn Fantasy/Reality in a screenplay in the future? So you're a webdesigner? Do you have a link to your work online? I'd love to see what you can do. *huggles*

April - You have to pay to use the library? That seems so wrong! Personally, I like to buy books. I know it's more costly and causes a big mess in my room. I feel I have more time to read it and if I really love a book I can reread certain scenes and chapters over and over again. I didn't know there was a Girls Next Door book. I gave up on Desperate Housewives a long time ago. It's a good idea but it's not really my kind of show. Thank you for the compliment on the latest Fantasy/Reality part. I can't wait to see what happens next either! lol

Mary - One of the girls I chat with on LiveDaily says she saw him and Nick holding hands back in November 2008 so they've been together for a while.

Mandie - You posted your comment right when I updated again! Glad you love the picture of Nick making that sex face. I love it so much. There's just too many good pictures of Nick coming out right now! What does the icon look like? I'd love to see it!

Jocelyn

February 4th , 2009 @ 3:35 AM PDT

"Fantasy/Reality back online along with part 48 - Best picture of Nick so far in 2009 plus he loves his fist and oh look it's his butt crack... - I am a teaser - I want this!"

My goodness it's past 3:30 AM and I'm still awake. I couldn't go to sleep until I finished uploading Fantasy/Reality.

One reason I delayed adding Fantasy/Reality part 48 was I spent the entire weekend remodeling the format of parts 1 through 47. I didn't feel right adding 48 without having the other 47 parts there. Plus I know there are some readers who were in the middle of reading the story and I didn't want to torture them any further.

The other reason for the delay was I had a hard time gathering the energy to edit part 48. I did finish writing it last week but getting myself to read it over and edit it was difficult.

For now, I am adding Fantasy/Reality here:

New Temporary Home for Fantasy/Reality

I'd appreciate it if anyone could double check that I added each part correctly and that I didn't accidentally leave anything out. Please leave a comment on the blog letting me know of any mistakes. Also try not to leave detailed comments about Fantasy/Reality in the shout box here on the site so that those who haven't had the chance to read it first don't get part 48 spoiled. Leave a comment on the blog to prevent any possiblity of spoilers for fellow readers.

I had the chance to relive Fantasy/Reality parts 1-47 this weekend many times while I was remodeling and man I really can't believe how far this story has gone. Viola and Nick have gone through so much. I also skimmed through the past comments and I always wonder if those people who left comments in the early stages of the story, like parts 1 through 10, still read it.

Nick had his billions of birthday parties over the weekend in Canada. Sof from livedaily was fortunate to attend his parties and she got someone to take this lovely picture of him on her camera:

In my opinion that picture is the best of Nick so far in 2009. That's a total sex face. It makes me horny. I couldn't resist making it my desktop background on my computer. You can see more of Sof's hot pictures here.

I also saw this picture of what looks like Nick trying to eat his fist which I find very entertaining:

I also saw these other bday party pictures posted on livedaily:

Pic 1
Pic 2
Pic 3
Pic 4

The last one is a picture of Nick's plumber crack. What is it with him and the butt crack shots? He needs to invest in a better belt.

While I was googling my name I found a link to a page selling the book "Got a Minute? Sixty Second Erotica." To my surprise, my short story entitled "Pleasing" was used as a teaser to entice a prospective buyer. I am so honored that out of all the stories in the book, mine was used for a preview. You can see it here.

If you haven't already, you should check out that book. I have two stories in there. One is called "Case of the Horny's" and the other is called "Pleasing."

Here's the excerpt of my story "Pleasing" that the website posted:

Just seeing her drenched turned him on, and he felt himself get hard all over again. He had to fuck her. Standing up, he motioned for her to do the same. He let his hand go between her thighs, feeling her soaking wet pussy. She moaned as she started to grind herself on his palm.

    "Bend over," he instructed.

    Jacelia placed her palms on the cushions of the couch and stuck her luscious ass out for him. He rubbed her smooth cheeks and spread them, preparing for entry.

    "Fuck me, Clayton," she pleaded in a little-girl voice.

    Clayton didn't need any more encouragement to slide inside. She was so tight. It made him proud to know that he was the only one who had ever entered her. Gripping her hips for leverage, Clayton began to thrust himself into her, loving the sweet pleasure he was receiving. Faster and faster he went.

    "Oh, it's so good," she moaned.

    Clayton drove into her, his skin slapping against hers creating a sweet sound.

    "Come for me," he encouraged, taking a hand off her hip and reaching around to rub her pulsating clit.

    "Oh, yes," she whimpered, feeling his fingers move over her clit.

He started to feel her orgasm build, and he knew this was his cue to go faster, and he thrust even more.
    Clayton groaned as he started to come inside her and he felt her shuddering with her own climax.

When I read that over, I couldn't believe that I was the one who wrote that. Sometimes it amazes me that I can write from the male perspective. I have no idea what it's like to be a guy but even my professor in college said "you think like a guy."

I was browsing through the Coach message board on the Purse Blog and I saw this pretty ox keyfob. Since 2009 is the year of the ox, Coach made a keyfob for it! It's perfect for me because I was born in the year of the ox in 1985. Hopefully I'll get to stop by the Coach boutique some time this week. This picture of the ox is from someone on the purse forum:

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Pauline - I love getting comments in my shoutbox so if anyone leaves one I make sure to respond and mention their name if they leave it :-) I wish you luck on your screenplay. Have you taken a screen writing class? Some of what I learned in a screen writing class I took in college I used in Fantasy/Reality. My professor emphasized conflict, hence the reason Viola and Nick argue too much lol Nick is a bit on the thin side but he looks really happy with himself. I'm not picky though, I'll take either a heavier Nick or a lighter Nick. As long as he's Nick I'll be happy! I do remember you sending me an e-mail! It fascinates me that my site, which I make in my messy room in California, can have visitors from other places like the Netherlands! Thank you for reassuring me that I can entertain overseas *huggles*

Mandie - It does look like he is singing an ode to the Sprinkles cupcakes. Nick is really making me crave those cupcakes. This weekend, I might drive over to Sprinkles and get myself some cupcakes! My mouth is watering as I think about it.

Steph W. - I don't think I've been to the NC Corner site. Do you have a link to it? That sucks there was a chick there fighting with you but it's good to know you got your issue settled.

April - So many books so little time! I just finished reading a historical romance called "The Masqurade." I just started reading another Sophie Kinsella novel called "Can you keep a secret?" My HP came with a remote too but I never used it. I don't even know where it is! I must have missed that episode where Bridget talks about Sprinkles Cupcakes. I didn't even know what they were until the owner came on ABC and I found out it's a big deal in LA. They just opened their 2nd location in Stanford Shopping Centre last year. You should come on over and we can go together hehe It was cute how Nick wanted to see that one guys camera and he said he had a Canon lol Awww, thanks for having faith in me! Makes me smile :-D I actually didn't hear Kyle XY has been cancelled. I think everytime I start to like a TV show it ends up getting cancelled! I still can't believe Dirty Sexy Money is gone. I hope Priviledged and Life on Mars don't get cancelled.

Melissa - I have heard the news of Howie and his wife expecting their first child! Congrats to them. I'm sure Nick is happy for Howie. I'm so curious to know the gender of their baby. They need a Backstreet girl child.

Danielle - I think the girl Nick was holding hands with who was wearing the brown jacket when he left the Key Club is his girlfriend. From livedaily, they said her name is Lauren. Nick's recording a new solo CD? Where did he say that? I thought he was still recording another Backstreet album?

Mary - I'm glad the test link for Fantasy/Reality part 47 works for you! Apparently Nick does have a new girlfriend. People have seen her and him at different events holding hands. I didn't even realize AJ had a new gf either. I heard her name is Wendy and she was/is a porn star.

Guest - From what I've heard, the girl in the brown jacket with Nick is his girlfriend Lauren.

Jessica - Welcome to my site! I love it when new people come visit and I hope you continue to come back. I went ahead and added all the links to my story Fantasy/Reality so that new people like yourself can enjoy it without having to wait any longer. Yeah, Viola and Nick fight a lot but at least it shows they have fire and passion for each other. I don't think they would fight so much if they didn't care so much about each other.

Dawn - Chris/Declan is so hot. I swear if I didn't see him, I wouldn't even be watching this show. Since I'm addicted to wikipedia'ing anything, I looked him up and read he's from Stockton, CA which is about an hour from where I live. I also found out he's married :-\ lol but it's okay! I can still look. I never got to see how he and Lori were together but from what I see now they don't have sparks anymore. She seems happy with that nerdy looking boy. Oooh, Chris was on CSI Miami? What did he play on there? I don't watch any of the CSI's. I do think it's not fair that ABC family didn't give time for the 3rd season of Kyle XY to develop. I'm sure if they gave it time it would do okay. And the chapter is here! Please let me know what you think about it!

Mandy - I know the update was a few days late but I hope you enjoy it! Ahh, yes. Nick and cupcakes... what more can you ask for?

Jocelyn

January 28th, 2009 @ 2:00 AM PDT

"Happy 29th Birthday Nick Carter - My cock has mystical powers - Sailor Moon Marathon "

I just finished writing Fantasy/Reality part 48 but I'm really sleepy right now so I'll add it soon (maybe in a few hours)! I thought I wouldn't finish writing it until February but my personal goal was to finish this part before Nick's birthday and I did.

Today is Nick's 29th birthday. Apparently he's having a billion parties to celebrate his last year in his 20's. He already had a party in Hollywood at the Key Club and there's a couple of more parties coming up in Canada.

You can see pictures from his first party here and here and here and an interesting video here.

I have to say Nick's hair looks totally fabulous and he really looks happy. You'll also see pictures of Aaron wearing a backpack. Is he trying to start some sort of new trend or is he all ready to hop on a plane for Nick's parties in Canada?

Plus I think it was cute that instead of having a birthday cake, Nick had a bunch of Sprinkles cupcakes. The owner of Sprinkles cupcakes was actually a guest on the ABC talk show I worked for a while back and she left us a buttload of cupcakes. I can say they are very good cupcakes :-)

I was watching Nip/Tuck and I totally loved the scene between Dr. Christian Troy and Liz. For those who don't watch the show, Liz is a lesbian and she had sex with Dr. Troy. Now Liz is all confused about her sexuality and Dr. Troy said, "My cock has mystical powers." That made me get up from my chair and laugh hysterically.

I was recently reminded of my love for Sailor Moon. This past Monday I spent almost the entire day watching Sailor Moon episodes on youtube. It is such great anime and I love the storylines so much. Plus Darien is so hot.

And... I recently got sucked into "The Secret Life of the American Teenager." ABC family had a marathon a few weeks ago and I had a preconceived notion it was a lame show but as I watched the episodes from the first season I found myself liking it so now I'm watching the second season. I actually like the character Adrian. Her "relationship" with Ricky reminds me a little bit of Nick and Viola because Ricky pretty much uses Adrian for sex.

I also got sucked into Kyle XY. I thought it was a lame show too but then I saw this guy:

I've only started watching this season but I'm liking the love triangle between Kyle, Amanda, and Jessi.

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Steph W. - You're welcome. I feel like there's so many birthday's going on!

Melissa - I am not going to Nick's birthday party in Toronto. I'm not sure about the price but I'm sure fans can go if they want.

April - I need to put 'Confessions of a Shopaholic' on my long list of books to read. I've seen the movie previews and it looks interesting to me. That's great you got an HP laptop! I have an HP desktop and it's been great so far. Paris is just weird. This is why I admire Anderson Cooper. He is technically an heir himself but he was able avoid growing up a rich snob. I absolutely loved the comments he made on 'Regis and Kelly' about Dina and Ali Lohan.

Lisa - I'd love to go to London some day. I have some really distant relatives who live there in London. What's funny is my distant cousin married an English guy and they moved to the UK and now she has an accent lol Good luck on working with Chris Nolan, his resume is very impressive. I totally know firsthand that in the business it's about who knows you in order to get a foot in the door.

Mandie - I haven't actually seen that video yet. Thank you for sharing that with me. It made me smile :-)

Pauline - Thank you for telling me the story part works!

Danielle - Yay it works for you too! Thanks for telling me.

Dawn - Whew hoo so far it works for 3 people! Nick really doesn't look 29. He looks so young. I really think he's aging backwards or he has really great face cream.

Temple - I believe Nick celebrated his 28th birthday at Area night club in the LA/Hollywood area.

Jocelyn

 

January 26th, 2009 @ 12:25 AM PDT

Click here to check out Fantasy/Reality Part 47

January 19th, 2009 @ 3:35 PM PDT

January 13th, 2009 @ 12:00 AM PDT

January 9th, 2009 @ 12:00 AM PDT

December 25th, 2008 @ 2:30 PM PDT

December 8th, 2008 @ 12:00 AM PDT